Monday, November 16, 2009

There is a Sarah Palin Sex Doll! This Babe is for You!

This is too good to be true. Oh the jokes and lame suggestive statements I can make here. Why am I the last to know? For those of you who still do not know, here is the news. There is a Sarah Palin sex doll that states clearly on the box, "This is not a Sarah Palin blow up Doll." No, it's the real thing! Just kidding, I guess.

The doll has many conveniences over the real thing. She doesn't make stupid statements. She cannot see Russia. She does not try to read everything in front of her. She doesn't require a $150,000.00 wardrobe to get her through a few months. Her IQ is much higher than the real thing and she's no quitter. I consider her a vast improvement over Campaign Sarah and Governor Sarah. Snicker here, ladies.

This tickles me to no end to think some pervert will buy one. Somebody buy one, please, and tell me about it! I am that sick or in need of a good laugh. I've never actually seen a real blow up doll, but we have all heard stories. I cannot imagine who will buy this. Certainly not Democrats. So Republicans, this babe is for you!

Think about it! There must be a market. Did Rush get one? Probably not, he'd pop it in a second, or maybe, he already did. Did Bush? Nah, Laura would not let him. What about Glenn Beck? We know Crybaby Glenn has her out for the holidays. That much hot air blowing her up would cause her to rise off the bed like a banshee. Scary. Imagine Beck here and a banshee. Laugh quietly so that no one knows what you are reading. He could even dress her in Neiman Marcus lingerie. Only the best will do for their Sara. What about O' Reilly? Another great match.

Once you inflate her, do you let her stay up permanently? Can you use her as a flotation device? I imagine she would be a lot of fun at pool parties. So in order to find the new "This is Not a Sarah Palin Sex Doll", sneak a peek over the fence and look in a Republican's back yard. It is in the swimming pool.

I am beginning to like it more and more the idea of blow up political figures. Personally I would like to think Caribou Barbie doll could find happiness with a blow up former governor of Ilinois, Rod Blagojevich, who refused to quit, blow-up doll. Please tell me there is a Blagojevich doll. Just think of the little plastic babies. They'd never stop talking and have way too much hair. Think of the assinine remarks they could make.

Real Blagojevich and the real Palin would make a lovely couple. He could do his wheelin' and dealin' and Palin could be packing heat for protection. Anyone spies, he dies. Nobody would catch them doing anything!

I like the idea of those two together. It would be a marriage made in hell. Perfect! Graft, corruption, guns, money, hair and sex. You couldn't make up anything better. They could bungee jump off the big Jesus in Rio, barbecue Olbermann over Labor Day, roast Maddow for Thanksgicing, and have all sorts of exciting fun. I implore both of you, for the sake of humor, leave your spouses and hook up. I will even be responsible for a fund to convince you two to do it. Bogie and Bacall it ain't, but at least it's funny.

If you would like to add your own jokes about Sarah and/or Rod, please feel free to do so or if you would like to contribute to the Rod and Sarah hook up fund, I accept cash. Surely I am not the only one who thinks this is hilarious.