There is a very exciting news report coming from Japan. I would like to preface this report by saying I am not making this up, nor am I drinking. Japan's first lady, Miyuki Hatoyama was abducted by aliens more than 20 years ago. A triangle shaped spacecraft took her to Venus. Now, this is the first lady, and kidnapping her and taking her to Venus is most probably a crime. Keep in mind I am not an attorney, but I believe something should have been done. Besides the universal gossip is that Venus is an intergalactic hideout of kidnappers and those who profit from human slavery.
In this country, we take kidnapping seriously. It is a capital crime. We investigate and send out all points bulletins trying to locate the dastardly villain or villains. In Japan, did no one care that a crime was committed? Are we only going to prosecute crimes that Earthlings commit? I think this is blatant prejudice against all citizens of Earth because it assumes we are the only inhabitants of the universe capable of committing crimes. With that kind of thinking, the extraterrestials legally have the right to do anything they want and there is nothing we can do about it.
Miss Hatoyama recalls the incident, "While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus," She went on, "It was a very beautiful place, and it was very green." She was probably a younger woman. This could have been an abduction of a minor across planetary borders. I'm not sure but I think that is worse than a federal crime.
I believe her. I believe every word she says. I can't begin to tell you how many times that has happened to me. I have been abducted by aliens and woke up in very green, beautiful places like Venus. There are ten times that I remember, dozens more that I don't. I am sure it was Venus. Once it was Seattle, and another time it was some place in Kentucky, but the other 8 times, it was definitely Venus. I could tell that from outer space as we approached. I could read the writing on the planet. It said V-E-N-U-S, all capital letters, no mistaking that.
So here is what we know about the crime. A woman was abducted, a first lady, no less. She was taken to Venus by an unidentified number of Venusians. There are no descriptions of the kidnappers. Coincidence? I think not. She is hiding something or someone, protecting him. We have a vague description of the vehicle indicating it was triangle shaped. All Earthlings are to be on the lookout for a triangle shaped spaceship, make, model and color unknown. They apparently drugged her or made her feel she was asleep. They are quite dangerous with their fancy wheels (?) and their drugs. How old was she at the time? Much younger. They obviously like younger women. I think she must have been an impressionable young woman swept off her feet by these big universal guys. I would even speculate there was a romantic interest and she is still protecting one or more of them. He is among us.
Who, on this planet is almost other worldly, can seemingly defy gravity when jumping on Oprah's sofa, likes younger women? You know the answer as well as I. It is Tom Cruise. There, I said it. Tom Cruise is a Venusian who kidnaps younger women and takes them to his planet. I figured that out after countless hours of research. I don't know why he married. He has been around enough to know these bi-planetary relationships never work. It's not like this is his first time.
Miss Hatoyama went on to say she knew Tom Cruise in a former incarnation, when he was Japanese. Like, who didn't? See, she finally admitted to knowing him. I knew he was a reincarnated Japanese guy from Venus right off. See how she protects him. She leaves out the Venus part.
What we don't know is how many others are among us and how many women have they taken to Venus? Check out your neighbors. If they are seen jumping on a sofa, eyeing younger women, seem fond of greenery, or watch Tom Cruise movies, they are most likely Venusians. Report them here, on this blog. We will investigate provided we have their cyber addresses.
I suspect they are trying to seize control of all the countries on Earth. George W Bush was a Venusian, so is that Italian leader Silvio Something or other. Kim Jong Il, did anyone doubt that for a minute? Venusian Putin is obviously one of them, too. You could tell that Iranian leader, "Im A DinnerJacket" was one from a mile away. So please, stay aware of who is around you, young women. You could end up on Venus!
Those crazy Venusians better not come for our first lady, Michelle. They are in for a world of trouble. Don't go mucking around with us! We know Luke Skywalker and Han Solo and between the two, they will track them to the end of the universe. Spock is still employable, too. So don't show up around DC with that fancy triangle ship and your couch jumping trying to abduct our first lady. We are watching you! Besides, our first lady, Michelle is unimpressed with green. She is from Chicago.
By the way, I looked up the meaning of Miyuki Hatoyama and when translated literally means "woman whose head is filled with Venusian glue or lady who's hat is stuck on too tight." I think we might be related.