Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Bob Dylan's Now Year Old Christmas CD - Christmas in the Heart

It is Christmas so time to acknowledge Bob Dylan's Christmas Classic CD

I think I am having flashbacks again. If I am not, I am very pleased to announce that there is, for real, a Bob Dylan Christmas CD, "Christmas In the Heart" due out next month. Get the kids and sleeping bags ready now, and find your place in line. Avoid the stampede.

I can't just make this CD bullshit up for my own amusement. This is real news! Big news! A new Bob Dylan CD! Well, actually, I do make a lot of it up, but this is true, I swear. I got this information from a highly reliable source. I checked it out myself. I heard it with my own eyes. (Yeah, it shook me up that bad!)

Go to the address below for a free sampling:

Bob Dylan singing Christmas carols? This is not real. I must be having flashbacks again. It must have something to do with happy holidays and fond memories of Bob Dylan

I have always been a fan of Bob Dylan. He sang some of the finest songs ever recorded and is the uncrowned leader of a generation. Bob Dylan never sought nor claimed the crown, but he was and is the unofficial king. His intentions with this CD are quite honorable. All proceeds from the sale of this CD will go to charity, to feed the hungry. Could there be a more noble cause? But I wouldn't count those bellies too full too fast.

The best of intentions do not always work out. I offered to help Sarah Palin market the "Sarah Palin Inflatable Sex Doll", but it only got laughs, no cash. You can't put that in the bank.

I have no problem with the fact Bob Dylan is Jewish singing Christmas carols. It is a merry season; "the more, the..." well, you know the rest. One of the Christmas favorites of all time, "White Christmas" was written by Jewish composer, Irving Berlin. Thank you, Irving Berlin. But Bob Dylan's voice and joyous Christmas carols go together like a bottle of wine and barbed wire. You just don't quite get the connection right away. Really! And it isn't just me.

I listened again. Oh hell, it ain't the flashbacks. This is real. "Oh, the humanity."

I love Bob Dylan, and I have for years. I bought albums, yes, vinyl albums, of his music. I still enjoy "Subterranean Homesick Blues." Who can find fault with "Just Like a Woman", "Knocking on Heaven's Door", "Blowin' In the Wind" or "Lay, Lady, Lay"? But Christmas and Dylan? Who thought of this? Are Bill and Ted collaborating again? It would explain so much that has been happening in the world.

As a counter offer to Bob Dylan's "Christmas In the Heart" CD, my friends Rick, Sandy, Kinky Friedman, and I are forming our own band and will also release a CD, "Christmas In the Head". We will do a version of us doing Bob Dylan doing Christmas Carols. Since Bob Dylan is Jewish, we thought it appropriate to add in a couple of Jewish folks like Sandy and Kinky. Since we will be half Jew, half Christian, we will try to cover all the holidays in both religions and get paid time off for us, as well. We will call ourselves, "The Opportunists".

Sandy can't sing; neither can I, I don't know about Rick, but hey, as soon as we get Kinky signed on, we'll be on fire. We will guarantee to brighten up your Christmas season without all that eggnog and rum. On second thought, we might sound better with the rum, lots of rum. Better get a few bottles. Our proceeds won't go to charity but we will make a donation to ourselves. As an added bonus, we will throw in Kinky Friedman's classic, "They Don't Make Jews Like Jesus Anymore" just as soon as Kinky says it's okay.

All together now, "Jingle Beelllsss, Jingle Belllls, jingle alll th waaayyy." You're getting the hang of this aren't you? Try singing it in private the first time, and you'll be able to join our band in 25-30 minutes.

Seriously folks, after listening a few times, it is like all of Dylan's music, you have to develop an ear for it. I have listened so much that I have found I am liking it, for real! His rugged voice and vocal rhythms do complement these Christmas carols, and I am very serious. It is a noble cause and Bob Dylan will always hold a special place in my heart, so give his CD a shot. The good you do could help some hungry people. For those of us who enjoy Christmas, it is "in the heart". Bob Dylan has a fine heart for putting himself out there and exposing himself to ridicule from ignorant people like me. I love taking the cheap shots and low blows, but usually not to one of my own. Please buy the CD, Bob Dylan's "Christmas In the Heart".
"Singer or savior, it was his to choose
Which of us knows what was his to lose
Because idols are best when they're made of stone
A savior's a nuisance to live with at home
Stars often fall, heroes go unsung
And martyrs most certainly die too young"
The world is a better place because Bob Dylan passed through, and we were fortunate enough to see and hear him.

I still do not have the final go ahead from Kinky, so we hope to get our CD out in time for any holiday including Halloween. Would Bob Dylan do Halloween? "Wheennnn you're straaannnggggge, nobody remembeeerrr's your naaamme..."


Mad Mar said...

I applaud the Opportunists enterprising notes pre-release!!! I heard once that Bob Dylan and gotten "SAVED" and was now a fanatic christian. This may be false or I may be senile. What funny post!!! Thanks.


I guess it doesn't matter whether Jewish or Christian, he did a good deed.
Actually Sandy and I discussed this band idea. She is Jewish and we howled. We sang back and forth like Bob Dylan. So I had to give her credit, too. The Opportunists was a last minute insert. I realized our band should have a name, something shallow and insincere. I really listened to the samples many times and found my attitude changing. liked it. For real. At first I almost laughed at it. Then, well it's no so bad. Then, uh oh I am getting into this.

Mike Marcellino said...

i thought it may be a joke, holding out hope, but you certainly made the best of it, what ever a Dylan Christmas is, is it something about giving money to needy children, can you donate without listening?


Listen and it sounds better and better. Really. Mad Mar was right, he was a born again Christian. I laughed too when I heard about the CD, but after listening and laughing, I found myself liking it. Good deed had nothing to do with that. Sing with me "Looovvve and joy coommme to youuu and yourrrr waaassail too."
If you are born again does that mean you get to zero your age counter? I could do that and be 1 by next Christmas.

Anonymous said...

what the hell ? a Christmas album by Bob Dylan ? how strange.

Melinda Watson

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Yeah but it is cool once you listen