Friday, April 1, 2011
Cheney Has A Change of Heart - An Angel Gets his Wings.
Early yesterday morning, Dick Cheney awoke a changed man. He had an epiphany in the night. He would change his ways. He drove himself to the nearest homeless shelter and gave each person there $10,000.00 There were 283 at the shelter. From there he rode up to Bethesda Hospital and donated eighteen million for the war injured. He also set up a fund where any additional needs of any disabled vet would be directly billed to him.
After some serious contemplation over lunch, he had KBR jets fly him to New Orleans. He was shocked at the mess still in the City. He wrote a check for $100 million. After commissioning a boat called Hope, he viewed the Gulf of Mexico. He came back, shut down Halliburton, and prayed. His family was quite perplexed by this action. They pleaded for a medical evaluation. He explained that he was merely trying to set a few things right. He realized he could not take the cash with him.
After several hours of examination, it was determined that Cheney was some sort of weird phenomenon. He had used up all the evil, there was nothing but good left inside him. The former ramblings had been that of a man who had a guilty conscience. When they checked his heart, there was no pulse, no blood pressure. In fact, he did not have a heart. His family instantly put a stop to all his former good will. He returned to normal. No heart nor conscience.
Happy April Fools. You didn't really think Cheney had changed, did you?