Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds or Lucy Is a Guy with Diamonds. All the Wrong Words to Songs

Did you ever mishear a song? Did you ever like the wrong words so much that you stuck with them? You all do it. I know you do. I am not the only one. Take "Lucy is a Guy with Diamonds". That was a classic. Years ago, my mother was listening to that song as we drove. It was old even then. She looked at me with the straightest face you ever saw and exclaimed, "I don't get that song. Why is a guy named Lucy wearing diamonds?" She could have caused me to wreck laughing so hard. The words stuck.

Another friend's mother was happy to give out information about my friend, Kevin, going to a Three Toed Frog concert. It was Three Dog Night. However, in all fairness to Kevin's mother, Three Toed Frog is an excellent name for a rock band. Too bad there never was one. Remember Sinead O'Connor, Sine Aid O'Connor, Sounds like an Irish sinus medicine. We Irish have our own, you know. What about Yon Anchovy? John Bon Jovi was Yon Anchovy. If there was Strawberry Alarm Clock, what is wrong with Yon Anchovy? (It's Shakespeare for "That anchovy over there").

Why was Jimmy Buffett looking for his log shaker and saw? Why did he feel the need to sing about it? I guess he really was "wasted away in Margaritaville" while he looked. What is a log shaker? He probably could have found it, even wasted, if he knew what it was or looked like. Don't act like I am the crazy one. Jimmy Buffett wrote the song about it.(I feel guilty for taking this cheap shot. I love Jimmy Buffett so much. Please don't tell me it's a lost shaker of salt.)

Stove Top Stuffing was an odd thing to sing about. I guess they liked Thanksgiving. A lot. I found out later it was "Slowly Stroking" or "Stroking Something". It was strange one that I never figured out. "Smoke on the water with fire in the sky" became "Slow walking woman with fire in the sky". That woman better get a move on or the fire will catch her. (Those guys will haunt me for that)

Huey Lewis and the News sang about "The heart of rock and roll is in Cleveland." I thought old Huey had gone to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. He really said, "The heart of rock and roll is still beating." Who knew? It made sense the other way.

Griffin Veatch sang about the commandments he broke. It's a great song. I thought it was 7 out of 10 Commandments, which was cool by me, as long as he didn't kill anybody. He was singing "7, 8, and 10", listing the particular Commandments he had broken I looked them up. Hey Grif, I won't tell, anybody. (It's all our secret)

A friend misunderstood an old song called "Reach Out in the Darkness", and thought it was "Freak Out in the Garden". Like who hasn't made that mistake?

Who could forget Cat Stevens, "Baby, baby it's Wadsworth", Where's Longfellow in this "Wild World"? (I am sorry, Yusuf. Yes, I do feel the need to apologize.)

"It was against the law what the Mama saw.. Me and Julio down by the school yard" As Stephen Colbert pointedly ask Paul Simon , "What exactly were you and Julio doing down by the school yard?" Simon did not answer. I wouldn't either. What goes on between me and Julio is our business.

Everyone knows the Christmas song with "Round John Virgin, Mother and Child." I never was quite sure who he was at the nativity. He must have been hiding in the hay. (I'm dying and going to Hell for this one)

"She came in with a vacuum cleaner protected by a silver broom." is about as good as "She came in through the bathroom window protected by a silver spoon". My son asked me about the real words. "Were those guys on drugs at that time?" I told him they were on drugs, big drugs, huge drugs, big as ths sky drugs.

Remember "I'm you Venus". I should not write the misdunderstanding around the word in this blog, so I will not. I will imply it, very subtly (yeah, right, like that is going to happen) so that only a few will get it. A lot of us really believed when we heard the song, "I'm You Venus" was:
"She's got it
Yeah, baby, she's got it
I'm your (Insert word I cannot write on this blog here),
I'm your fire
At your desire

I promised not to write it, but it starts with a P and rhymes with Venus. I thought it had to be wrong because you really should not sing about that on the radio.

Who could forget the BeeGees, "Whether you're a brother, or whether you're a mother standing in line, standing in line." I really believed that one too. Why anyone would write a song about standing in line was a mystery 'til I found out it was "Staying Alive". That took the mystery out of that one. But anyone that sings like that should be forced to write a song about standing in line. (Yes, I am my mother's daughter.)

Juice Newton's, "Angel of the Morning" was great. "Just cross my street before you leave me" makes good sense, but it was "Just touch my cheek before you leave me." Perfectly logical mistake.

I also had a friend who thought Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Fly high, free bird." was "Buy me a free bird. I took particular offense to that one. How the hell can you buy a free bird? It isn't free anymore if you buy it.

I am sure you all have your own misheard words that you have bottled up inside for all these years. Seek redemption. Set your demons free. Let me know. I won't tell.

Meanwhile, "Excuse me, while I kiss this guy."