It is with great sadness that I report Mr Super Glue has died at age 93. Apparently, it happened last week. He was a true scientist to the core. He never made millions from the product that almost every household in America has used on a regular basis. His invention was quite by accident. This accident should have told him and the rest of the world something significant. Super Glue has its own "mojo". I have thanked and cursed the man more than anyone without knowing his true identity until his death. It is only fitting and proper that I should honor Harry Wesley Coover, Jr by telling a few Super Glue stories.
I am both master and disaster with Super Glue. I personally have had more mishaps with the "stuff" than anyone on the planet. I have glued my fingers together (who hasn't?), glued my hand to a phone (they looked clean, and it was ringing), glued my hand to a towel (trying to wipe glue off), glued my hand to a light switch (again, I thought my hands were clean), glued my hand to my thigh (while holding an object until it set), glued the object being fixed to a body part that sure didn't need gluing. But I am not the only one.
I have a friend, who will remain anonymous, who had a major mishap with Super Glue while helping her daughter complete a school project. While she was tirelessly working away, my friend noticed her daughter was goofing off and chatting with a friend on the phone. She was angry. She was doing all the work, and her daughter was having all the fun. She hit the table with her fist not knowing that a tube of Super Glue was on the table. The good news is her hand did not get stuck. The bad news is the tube of glue was permanently attached to the table. The really bad news is it sprayed out when she hit it, spewing out over her on the right side of her body. When it hit, she swung her head around see what happened. Her head also included swinging her hair, unfortunately. Big mistake. She had pretty, long hair. Her hair was now stuck to the side of her face and sweater. She had to cut her hair away from her face and had one inch stubble glued to the right side of her face when I showed up to rescue her. She was tweezing glued hair, but no hair came loose loose, just moving the glued half her face up and down, causing pain. I suggested she shave.
Shaving helped; then, we used lotion to peel off the rest. My friend was wearing a sweater that was loosely knitted (it had large openings) and no bra. The Super Glue went through the holes in her sweater gluing it to her right boob. When she tried to change clothing, she realized her sweater was stuck to her. I doubled over laughing at her. She ended up wearing the sweater. For two days, she wore that sweater. Finally, she figured out how to get it off. She cut the glued area out of the sweater and pulled it off. Then she used acetone to remove the remains of the sweater from her right breast. Some areas of the body should not be exposed to acetone. She knows.
Thank you, Harry Wesley Coover Jr, Mr Super Glue, for all the glued times. You saved my ass more than once. You also got me in trouble dozens of times. Thank you for the many stories you have provided. I wouldn't have missed a one of them. However, I am very thankful we never shook hands. I feel sure there would have been "a permanent bond". I am sincerely sad to hear that your life has passed. Goodbye, old friend that I never knew.
When I heard of his demise, the obvious pun came to mind. I thought he would have stuck around longer.
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